Well, it's been awhile...4 months (eek!)!! Life has been busy (when is it not?)...I am in my second year of a two year Master of Information program at U of T. So this is the big one...learning to love learning at SCHOOL.
I don't recall ever loving school' I've always been good at it, but I don't really enjoy it. I don't like having to constantly prove to teachers/instructors/profs that I have understood them by writing papers/doing presentations/etc. Of course, there are also courses that you HAVE to take, even though you might not be interested in the subject matter, which is frustrating.
Nevertheless, I decided to go back to school last fall...and not just any school, but a Master's degree at U of T! Not known for being easy...and this is really what inspired this blog. Last year was very difficult for me, after 8 years of working (mostly self-employed), jumping into the world of academia was a bit daunting to say the least. In my undergrad (in technical theatre), I think the longest paper I ever wrote was around 2,000 words: now my papers are regularly that long. My husband has been very supportive and helpful though this whole experience, and has constantly reminded me to try to find something to enjoy about the process (besides the wonderful people I've met and the type of job I will (hopefully) be able to find when I graduate).
So I'm learning. I don't read all the readings for each class if I think they are boring and don't think they are necessary, or I skim them. I try to find something interesting in each article. I try to find a way to pick topics for my papers that relate to topics I am actually interested in. I read about library-related topics that AREN'T for school, to give me a handle on what is happening in the REAL world of libraries, and figure out how that relates to what I'm studying at school. I commune and sympathize with my fellow students on facebook, in e-mail, in person: even though venting might not seem like "loving learning", it helps to know others are in the same position as you are, and to realize that this is part of learning, too. And I keep reminding myself that I am in a position to exercise my brain that I may never have again, so I should make the most of it.
I'm definitely learning, and I'm enjoying it more than I did last year...I might not be at the stage where I LOVE learning yet, but I'm improving.
November 18, 2011
July 11, 2011
Driving Standard
If I had been born 50 years earlier, this post would have been simply titled "Driving"...however, having learned to drive in the late 1990s, being able to drive stick is not the "standard" anymore.
I learned to drive on my family's Caravan minivan and my grandmother's Sunfire. From there I moved on to drive a scooter, many cube trucks and panel vans, the occasional pick-up truck, and many many many rental cars. Still, when I sit in the driver's seat with a stick shift beside me, I get nervous: it feels like too many parts of my body to coordinate...eyes, ears, both hands, both feet. I clench my stomach when I have to start on an incline, and I get nervous when the car behind me is following too closely.
My husband and I own a standard car...it came with him as part of the package :) He started giving me lessons while we were planning a road trip to Florida a few moths after we met. He'd drive us down to somewhere without many cars, and I'd practice going around the block, stopping and starting, shifting between gears, and practicing reversing. Then we went on the trip, and I actually did pretty well with the highway driving: not a lot of stop and go, if you plan your routes well! Since then (over two years ago), I haven't done much practicing...but now we're planning another road trip to the New Jersey, New York, and Massachusetts, so I need to get back on the horse so to speak!
I realize, logically, that I just need to practice. I also realize that thousands of people drive a stick shift and it is unlikely that I am going to cause any major damage to other cars or people by simply rolling back a little on a hill. Although it's still hard to unclench my stomach, I know that one day I will just think of it as "driving", and not "driving standard".
I learned to drive on my family's Caravan minivan and my grandmother's Sunfire. From there I moved on to drive a scooter, many cube trucks and panel vans, the occasional pick-up truck, and many many many rental cars. Still, when I sit in the driver's seat with a stick shift beside me, I get nervous: it feels like too many parts of my body to coordinate...eyes, ears, both hands, both feet. I clench my stomach when I have to start on an incline, and I get nervous when the car behind me is following too closely.
My husband and I own a standard car...it came with him as part of the package :) He started giving me lessons while we were planning a road trip to Florida a few moths after we met. He'd drive us down to somewhere without many cars, and I'd practice going around the block, stopping and starting, shifting between gears, and practicing reversing. Then we went on the trip, and I actually did pretty well with the highway driving: not a lot of stop and go, if you plan your routes well! Since then (over two years ago), I haven't done much practicing...but now we're planning another road trip to the New Jersey, New York, and Massachusetts, so I need to get back on the horse so to speak!
I realize, logically, that I just need to practice. I also realize that thousands of people drive a stick shift and it is unlikely that I am going to cause any major damage to other cars or people by simply rolling back a little on a hill. Although it's still hard to unclench my stomach, I know that one day I will just think of it as "driving", and not "driving standard".
June 26, 2011
Current Lesson: Gym Class
Okay, I haven't done very well with posting regularly...hopefully I'll do better in July! I'm jumping forward, now, to some of my present-day learning: gym class.
I am living in Ottawa for the summer, and I decided I wanted to keep working on my "sporty" learning...not only is it good for me and a way to meet people here, but my husband is forever pushing me to work on my sporty skills (he's rather sporty himself). So I signed up for a women's parks and rec program called "It's Never Too Late For Sports". Advertised as a way to learn some sports skills, I thought it would be a great introduction to a variety of sports, and I would (hopefully) not feel awkward in front of the other people (since the other people had signed up to learn, just like me!).
Turns out to be a lot of fun! And, amazingly, I am more coordinated and sporty than some of the other women! Since it's an intro class, everyone is pretty laid back about winning and points, and there's lots of encouragement and cheering when you do something well. We spend the first half hour learning some skills and doing drills, and the second half-hour playing the game (usually somewhat modified, since there are usually only 6 of us). As you can see, it is very much like gym class...we (as a class) decided that calling it "gym class" is a much more accurate (and less cringe-inducing) name than "it's never too late for sports", so we're going with it. So far, we have played beach volleyball (okay), field hockey (so hard!! but fun), and beach badminton (the wind is problematic). Tomorrow, we play soccer-baseball...see, just like gym class. The main difference is that the super-athletic kids aren't dominating the game and pushing to win, so you can actually learn something. In fact, I've had such a good experience that I'm going to sign up for the July session!
I am living in Ottawa for the summer, and I decided I wanted to keep working on my "sporty" learning...not only is it good for me and a way to meet people here, but my husband is forever pushing me to work on my sporty skills (he's rather sporty himself). So I signed up for a women's parks and rec program called "It's Never Too Late For Sports". Advertised as a way to learn some sports skills, I thought it would be a great introduction to a variety of sports, and I would (hopefully) not feel awkward in front of the other people (since the other people had signed up to learn, just like me!).
Turns out to be a lot of fun! And, amazingly, I am more coordinated and sporty than some of the other women! Since it's an intro class, everyone is pretty laid back about winning and points, and there's lots of encouragement and cheering when you do something well. We spend the first half hour learning some skills and doing drills, and the second half-hour playing the game (usually somewhat modified, since there are usually only 6 of us). As you can see, it is very much like gym class...we (as a class) decided that calling it "gym class" is a much more accurate (and less cringe-inducing) name than "it's never too late for sports", so we're going with it. So far, we have played beach volleyball (okay), field hockey (so hard!! but fun), and beach badminton (the wind is problematic). Tomorrow, we play soccer-baseball...see, just like gym class. The main difference is that the super-athletic kids aren't dominating the game and pushing to win, so you can actually learn something. In fact, I've had such a good experience that I'm going to sign up for the July session!
June 01, 2011
Lesson Two: Rowing
Following my singing lessons, I decided to push myself into something more sporty and try rowing. At my family cottage we have quite a few dinghy-style rowboats...the kind you row solo and are VERY hard to tip over. I've always enjoyed rowing those, so I thought I'd probably like rowing crew, too. So I signed up for a "Learn to Row" session at Argonaut Rowing Club in Toronto.
The first evening was a bit disappointing: we watched safety videos and learned proper form on the "ergs" (rowing machines to non-rowers). I volunteered to be in the tough coach's boat; I was there to learn, after all! Sure enough, the tough coach (I think his name was Frank, but I'm not 100% sure) got us on the water right away at the beginning of Week #2, while the other eight practiced more on the ergs for the first half of the night. I started off in the last seat position (bow), being one of the lightest people in the boat. It was challenging to keep in stroke with the rest of the boat, especially with the people in the middle losing the rhythm set by the person at the stern (stroke position). I think almost everyone caught a few crabs the first night (angled our oars incorrectly in the water, making it difficult to control). Lots of yelling from Frank, but he gave us some more positive comments once we were back on land! VERY sore the next day, especially in the lower back and shoulders.
The next week, Frank tried me in seat #2 (at the stern of the boat, behind the stroke position). This suited me much better, since I didn't have to decide whose rhythm to follow, just had to keep steady with Frank. I stayed in this position for the remainder of my rowing sessions, including when we tried rowing in fours (instead of eights). Frank continued to yell at all of us while in the boat. I continued to be sore after rowing, though it got a little better as time went on.
For our final week, we had a Regatta with people from all the Learn to row sessions. Yes, Frank continued to yell at us. We had gotten a decent rhythm down in our practice during the previous few weeks, but that was nothing compared to how hard we pushed ourselves during the race. We got out of synch a couple of times, but we managed to come in second!
I really enjoyed learning to row, especially since I wasn't the only person being yelled at! However, it is an expensive sport and crews mostly practice at unfathomable times like 5:00 am. Maybe someday I'll go back to it.
The first evening was a bit disappointing: we watched safety videos and learned proper form on the "ergs" (rowing machines to non-rowers). I volunteered to be in the tough coach's boat; I was there to learn, after all! Sure enough, the tough coach (I think his name was Frank, but I'm not 100% sure) got us on the water right away at the beginning of Week #2, while the other eight practiced more on the ergs for the first half of the night. I started off in the last seat position (bow), being one of the lightest people in the boat. It was challenging to keep in stroke with the rest of the boat, especially with the people in the middle losing the rhythm set by the person at the stern (stroke position). I think almost everyone caught a few crabs the first night (angled our oars incorrectly in the water, making it difficult to control). Lots of yelling from Frank, but he gave us some more positive comments once we were back on land! VERY sore the next day, especially in the lower back and shoulders.
The next week, Frank tried me in seat #2 (at the stern of the boat, behind the stroke position). This suited me much better, since I didn't have to decide whose rhythm to follow, just had to keep steady with Frank. I stayed in this position for the remainder of my rowing sessions, including when we tried rowing in fours (instead of eights). Frank continued to yell at all of us while in the boat. I continued to be sore after rowing, though it got a little better as time went on.
For our final week, we had a Regatta with people from all the Learn to row sessions. Yes, Frank continued to yell at us. We had gotten a decent rhythm down in our practice during the previous few weeks, but that was nothing compared to how hard we pushed ourselves during the race. We got out of synch a couple of times, but we managed to come in second!
I really enjoyed learning to row, especially since I wasn't the only person being yelled at! However, it is an expensive sport and crews mostly practice at unfathomable times like 5:00 am. Maybe someday I'll go back to it.
May 16, 2011
Lesson One: Singing
I love to sing. Many of my extended family members love to sing. In fact, we have group sing-songs at my cottage...think guitars, song-books, and beer. Some of us have beautiful singing voices, and can harmonize and change keys seemingly effortlessly...others of us are not so blessed. Thankfully, it is a very inclusive environment, and no one minds if I'm a little bit off. I also make up for it by knowing most of the words and loving every minute of it. However, I thought this was an area that I could work on my learning to love learning, since I already love singing.
Looking back, this may be a bit of cheat; I think I actually took singing lessons in my 30th year (before I actually turned 30). Perhaps the singing lessons were part of what launched me on this quest, I can't really remember anymore. Regardless, I DID take singing lessons!
I signed up for an 8-week group class through the Royal Conservatory of Music. The instructor was a trained opera singer (aren't they all?), and she encouraged us to discover our head voices: "sing like Miss Piggy! You'll feel silly, but you'll sound much better afterwards!" And she was right. We did all kinds of singing in groups, including singing in rounds and, yes, harmonizing. As well, we each prepared a solo, which we worked on (briefly) each week. The instructor (whose name I can't recall at the moment) encouraged us to choose something that was challenging and also meant something to us personally. I selected "Out on the Mira", which is a beautiful song about a river in Cape Breton, Nova Scotia (I was born in NS); we also, of course, sing "Out on the Mira" at my cottage sing-songs.
Each week, I had to stand up in front of the class and sing my song, accompanied on piano; the instructor then gave notes. Mostly, she told me to enunciate more and access my head voice ("sing like Miss Piggy!"). This wasn't too difficult for me: the class was full of non-singers, and I didn't know any of them, so I didn't feel overly self-conscious. And we all felt silly singing like Miss Piggy.
For the final week, we planned a little recital of our best group pieces and everyone's solos. My classmates had invited guests to come, which made it a little bit more nerve-wracking; I didn't invite anyone, not wanting to invite my family to watch me learning something new. Before my solo, I was a slightly nervous, but I felt fairly under control. I started singing, and it was sounding okay to me...a little bit of Miss Piggy, but not too much. I was breathing in the right places, and trying to enunciate (always a challenge). I reached the last chorus, and I suddenly got choked up...I hadn't been to Nova Scotia in a few years, and I guess the high emotions of performing brought it out. Anyhow, I had to sing the last chorus twice in order to get it all out, but the audience gave me a huge round of applause at the end.
So the singing lessons went fairly well. I didn't manage to invite anyone I knew, but there were other people watching. I haven't gone back for more (it's expensive!!!), but I do continue to sing in the usual ways...and I try to remember Miss Piggy.
Looking back, this may be a bit of cheat; I think I actually took singing lessons in my 30th year (before I actually turned 30). Perhaps the singing lessons were part of what launched me on this quest, I can't really remember anymore. Regardless, I DID take singing lessons!
I signed up for an 8-week group class through the Royal Conservatory of Music. The instructor was a trained opera singer (aren't they all?), and she encouraged us to discover our head voices: "sing like Miss Piggy! You'll feel silly, but you'll sound much better afterwards!" And she was right. We did all kinds of singing in groups, including singing in rounds and, yes, harmonizing. As well, we each prepared a solo, which we worked on (briefly) each week. The instructor (whose name I can't recall at the moment) encouraged us to choose something that was challenging and also meant something to us personally. I selected "Out on the Mira", which is a beautiful song about a river in Cape Breton, Nova Scotia (I was born in NS); we also, of course, sing "Out on the Mira" at my cottage sing-songs.
Each week, I had to stand up in front of the class and sing my song, accompanied on piano; the instructor then gave notes. Mostly, she told me to enunciate more and access my head voice ("sing like Miss Piggy!"). This wasn't too difficult for me: the class was full of non-singers, and I didn't know any of them, so I didn't feel overly self-conscious. And we all felt silly singing like Miss Piggy.
For the final week, we planned a little recital of our best group pieces and everyone's solos. My classmates had invited guests to come, which made it a little bit more nerve-wracking; I didn't invite anyone, not wanting to invite my family to watch me learning something new. Before my solo, I was a slightly nervous, but I felt fairly under control. I started singing, and it was sounding okay to me...a little bit of Miss Piggy, but not too much. I was breathing in the right places, and trying to enunciate (always a challenge). I reached the last chorus, and I suddenly got choked up...I hadn't been to Nova Scotia in a few years, and I guess the high emotions of performing brought it out. Anyhow, I had to sing the last chorus twice in order to get it all out, but the audience gave me a huge round of applause at the end.
So the singing lessons went fairly well. I didn't manage to invite anyone I knew, but there were other people watching. I haven't gone back for more (it's expensive!!!), but I do continue to sing in the usual ways...and I try to remember Miss Piggy.
May 08, 2011
Background: Why This Blog?
If you've read my "About Me", you have an inkling of why I've decided to write this blog. If not, go read it! Or, just read below...
Basically, I've never enjoyed the learning process (or, at least, not that I can remember). I feel uncomfortable not being good at things, and ESPECIALLY uncomfortable when other people are watching me not being good at things. Even more so if those people are important to me...which means I have a hard time learning from the people with whom I am closest, like my Dad and my best friends and my husband. I know, this sounds ridiculous: all of those people don't care that I'm going to make mistakes, they just want to help me learn something new! And I can see that from the outside, with the logical part of my brain, but the irrational part says that I need to be good at things right away. As you can imagine, this makes the learning process somewhat challenging for both me and whoever is helping me learn.
Sometime around the time I turned thirty (about 2-1/2 years ago now), I realized that I had to figure out a way to enjoy learning, or I wasn't going to continue to learn new things...and I love knowing new things! So I decided to make a conscious effort to continue learning: sign up for classes, ask friends to show me things, jump in whenever the opportunity presented itself. And hopefully, by pushing myself to keep learning, I would figure out how to enjoy the process (or at least hate it less!).
So this blog will be a record of my progess...I'm going to start with an update of the past 2-1/2 years: what I've learned so far, how it's going. Then I plan on writing about my ongoing learning and where it's taking me. Hope you'll join me on the journey!
Basically, I've never enjoyed the learning process (or, at least, not that I can remember). I feel uncomfortable not being good at things, and ESPECIALLY uncomfortable when other people are watching me not being good at things. Even more so if those people are important to me...which means I have a hard time learning from the people with whom I am closest, like my Dad and my best friends and my husband. I know, this sounds ridiculous: all of those people don't care that I'm going to make mistakes, they just want to help me learn something new! And I can see that from the outside, with the logical part of my brain, but the irrational part says that I need to be good at things right away. As you can imagine, this makes the learning process somewhat challenging for both me and whoever is helping me learn.
Sometime around the time I turned thirty (about 2-1/2 years ago now), I realized that I had to figure out a way to enjoy learning, or I wasn't going to continue to learn new things...and I love knowing new things! So I decided to make a conscious effort to continue learning: sign up for classes, ask friends to show me things, jump in whenever the opportunity presented itself. And hopefully, by pushing myself to keep learning, I would figure out how to enjoy the process (or at least hate it less!).
So this blog will be a record of my progess...I'm going to start with an update of the past 2-1/2 years: what I've learned so far, how it's going. Then I plan on writing about my ongoing learning and where it's taking me. Hope you'll join me on the journey!
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